I've been to Philadelphia, Los Angeles and Detroit

Big bastards from Chicago, Boston and New York

Bigger they are - the harder they fall

Jab with a left and sting with a right

You're going down - When you're too drunk to fight!

Down at Murphy's Tavern, on the 4th of July
A fine time as any - for this young man to die!

Badda-to-the-bing and a Slainte' Bah!
Time for this boy's last hurrah!

My brains have failed - again tonight
Life's a bitch when yer too drunk to fight!

I pissed on Adam - then I pissed off Eve
The man at the bar - he tells me - it's time for me to leave

The lassy there - she was looking fine
And I said something out of line

Time for me to say goodnight
Life's a bitch when 'yer too drunk to fight!